I faced an unplanned pregnancy at the age of 16 that resulted in abortion.
April 19, 1991. I had just turned 17 years old.
A day that I have had pressed away into the back of my mind, so far that I can't remember all the details. My mom and my doctor told me it would be the best choice for me to abort my baby. I was on medication that could cause severe problems with fetal development during the first trimester. Young and uninformed I trusted their decision and thought I would be better off. I had no idea that I would live with that choice the rest of my life.
It was as if nothing was going on. No one talked about it to me. It was already my secret. My mom made all the arrangements. She drove me over to the clinic that Friday morning. This is where the details are pretty sketchy. What I remember the most is when they called my name, from that point on I was alone. I wanted so badly to change my mind. I was scared to death. I knew I was doing the wrong thing. But I didn't have the courage to turn back either. As I look back now, it was one of the most isolated times in my life.
Then it was all over with. And I do mean all. It was not talked about again.
I was so ashamed of what I had done that I told the few people that knew of my pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. The guilt, shame, and grief set in immediately.
For 15 years I lived in shame and secrecy, guilt overflowing into every area of my life.
Since the day I selfishly ended the life of my unborn child,
I have surrendered my Life to Christ. He redeemed me at the age of 22.
He wiped the slate clean that day.
While attending a retreat with my church in October of 2006, I realized that through Jesus’ death on the cross, I was truly forgiven of all my sins, including my abortion. The Lord Jesus Christ was my only source of healing and freedom. And finally, after many years of heartbreak, I was able to experience true freedom in Christ.
In October of 2008, after God dealt with my heart for 2 years, I surrendered to His call into post-abortion ministry. Since that time, God has consistently provided opportunities for this ministry to grow and opened doors for me to speak to the women and youth of my community.
Most people think that you just get over it, but you don't. Time does not heal this kind of wound.
God is the only one who can heal it.
Are you in bondage of guilt and shame from abortion? Can I offer you hope today?
There is Hope in Jesus Christ. He knows your pain. He has felt your pain and wants to rid you of it all.
It is possible to be forgiven and to let go of the emotional pain. He desires to set you free from bondage.
He wants to replace ashes with beauty. He has a life waiting for you, the one He intended for you.
The scriptures state in 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if anyone is in
Christ, He is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come."
God has a plan for your life. He wants only good for you. In
Jeremiah 29:11, it says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the
Lord, Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you Hope and a
future."
